That Girl I Saw...

This is is a true story, told from my perspective. And I know this story might not have some significance beyond a personal one, but I feel it's worth sharing.


Around 3:40 pm of Wednesday, 14 March 2007, the Sun was concentrating the full power of its stare on me. I was in Katipunan, on my way home from the last day of my PE class in UP. I was dead tired. Standing in the intersection of Katipunan and Aurora, I waited for an FX that I can ride to get to the Ortigas gate of Valley Golf, from where I would ride a service to take me home.

In front of me was a Miriamite girl in uniform, who obviously shared the same sad plight of being bullied by the Sun. She had a very light complexion...almost pale, I'd dare say. Her long black hair was tied behind her in a ponytail. In the instances she looked sideways, I got glimpses of her face - she had an uncanny resemblance with a girl I used to know, but I'm sure it wasn't her. She had earphones on, apparently feeding her ears with tunes from her mp3 player or iPod or whatever she had.

She wasn't the prettiest girl I've seen, but I found her to be cute. It's not anymore new to me to feel a certain degree (no matter how insignificant) of attraction towards some girl I just saw while commuting, but I seem to have felt slightly more drawn to this particular girl than the others.

A couple of minutes have passed, and so have a number of FX's. But none of them bore the sign "Tikling", "Antipolo Junction", or "Angono Highway" to signify that they will take me where I need to go. The girl was still standing there and she hadn't boarded the other FX's either, so I started hypothesizing that maybe she was waiting for the same FX as I was. When the heat of the Sun's ultra-violent rays was getting unbearable, she opened an umbrella, giving her some shade. Hurray for her.

Some more minutes passed and I noticed that her hold of the umbrella seemed to be weakening. She started showing signs that she was getting tired from holding the umbrella so long a time under the searing heat. For a crazy moment, I thought of approaching her and proposing a deal: I would hold the umbrella for her so that I could share in the shade. And I was about to do it too, but I heard some barker behind me screaming "O, Tikling! Tikling!".

As I turned around, I saw that a Tikling FX had just arrived from a direction nobody expected. People were boarding it and it was quickly running out of available space. The girl, however, didn't seem to notice. And she was still looking at the same direction she had been looking at for the past several minutes. Here entered another crazy thought: I thought of approaching her and turning her attention to the newly-arrived FX (Perhaps I was hoping that, in doing that, we would board the FX together.) But I knew that it would feel weird to be approached by a complete stranger and be told the things I thought of telling her. So I decided against my crazy plan and went to board the FX myself.

Halfway to boarding the FX, I saw in my peripheral vision that the girl had noticed the vehicle and was now heading for it as well. I stood there frozen, unsure of where in the vehicle I would want to sit (because I was unsure of where she was going to sit...and I guess I wanted to sit with her). I looked like a stupid statue with my hand on the door-handle of the FX, but not making any attempt to actually open the door. And despite that humiliation, my efforts proved to be in vain since I ended up sitting in the middle of the vehicle anyway (along with a couple in nursing uniforms) while she sat in the back (along with four men, each of whom was old enough to be her grandfather).

I handed over my 20-peso payment to the driver. "Valley Golf", I said. The driver told me that the ride from Katipunan to Valley Golf cost P25. Unbelievable. I told him I only pay P20 whenever I commute from Katipunan to Valley Golf aboard an FX. And I do that almost everyday. Nonetheless, I handed him some coins amounting up to 5 more pesos just to satisfy him. One of the old guys in the back also handed over his P20 payment. "Brookside", he said. Again, the driver exclaimed that the ride from Katipunan to Brookside cost P25. The old guy didn't seem to hear him (or pretended to not hear him) and the driver didn't pursue the matter.

Then I heard the girl's voice from behind me, "Bayad po." (here's my payment). I don't know why, but her voice sent shivers down my spine. It was...cold. I know the adjective doesn't seem appropriate in describing a sound...but that's what it felt like. Anyway, since she was too far from the front seat, I got the money from her so I could hand it over to the driver. Guess what! It was a P20 bill. And she finally revealed to me where she was heading for by telling the driver...

"Valley Golf."

As expected, the driver stated that the ride cost P25. I'm not sure if the girl heard him, but I couldn't stand it, so I told him again that it only cost P20. And he didn't say a word in reply. Somehow, I felt glad that I was able to do something for her. And I also felt pathetic about feeling glad about being able to do something so insignificant for her. Just how shallow could I get?

Anyways, for the next few minutes, I had one of the most unusual commute rides I've ever had. I thought of nothing else but her, even though she was seated behind me and I couldn't see her. She seemed to be emanating some sort of aura to which I was sensitive. I was so affected that my thoughts were filled with an imaginary scenario of myself having a conversation with her in which I even confessed!!!

"Hey, there."

"Umm... Hi? Do I know you?"

"I was just going to ask you the same thing. You look a lot like someone I used to know."

"Well, no...I don't think we've met before."

"What's your name"

*She hesitates, then reluctantly says her first name*

"I'm Andre'. Nice to meet you. Can I have your number?" (Yeah, I know it's abrupt. But that was the way I imagined it.)

"Umm...why?" or maybe even "I have a boyfriend."

"Well, I like you. Don't worry, I'm not expecting an immediate hook-up or anything. I might not even text very often. I just like you. And I like talking with you."

Further on in my fantasy, our conversations turned more casual, where she even asked me why I was making a move on her...to which I just answered I like her. Then she asked me if I've had (a) girlfriend(s) before and I told her I've had some serious relationships with some girls but no girl ever admits being my girlfriend (which is true, by the way). And then I returned the question to her...Has she ever had (a) relationship(s) before? To this, she answered that she had a boyfriend, with whom she just broke up with. At this she showed signs that she was about to cry - a sight that I didn't think I'd be able to bear seeing. I didn't want her to think that I was taking advantage of such an opportunity so I told her that if she wanted to be left alone I would understand... and then... I snapped out of it all and wondered why the heck I was thinking of such things!!!

Back to reality, we arrived in Valley Golf and it was time for us to unboard the vehicle. Upon putting my feet on the pavement outside, I walked a little slower so that she would get ahead of me and I could look at her from behind...like I was doing in Katipunan. Sure enough, that was what happened...but she walked in a slower manner than I was expecting. It looked almost as if she was...ill.

We still had to cross the murderous drivers' road to get to the Valley Golf gate. Weak-looking and slow-moving as she was...I felt somehow that she was my responsibility. Armed with nothing but that feeling of having somebody to protect, I braved the flow of zooming cars with slow and sure steps so that drivers from the distance could see that we were crossing. And I'm not sure what she was thinking at the moment...but she cooperated exactly the way I needed her to: taking small and sure steps in synchrony with mine. Finally, we were at the Valley Golf gate, where we could wait for the services to take us to safety.

Again, I walked slower so I could observe her from behind. I don't know why...but I seem to have developed this liking for observing people I like from behind, or from anywhere they can't see me. Anyway, I noticed that, in order to stay behind her, I had to walk a lot (and I mean a lot) slower than my normal pace. She walked very slowly. Combine it with her near-pale complexion and her aura...she seemed to have an air of sadness about her.

She went ahead and stood on one spot where, apparently, she waited for the service that would take her to her home. I, meanwhile, have found the one that would take me to mine ("Valley View Phase 1 and 2" service). I was hesitant to board it. I didn't want to leave her side (or back). I didn't know her. I didn't know anything about her. Not even her name. But still...

I took one last glimpse of her before boarding the service.

But the story still didn't end there.

I sat on one side of the service where the window directly in front of me was open. The driver moved the service and parked it in, of all the places, a position where the girl was totally visible to me through the open window.

She still had her earphones on. She held her cellular phone in front of her, texting with the same weakness of movement. Sunlight shone down on her pale skin and she glowed a supernatural glow. She looked like a ghost - a nameless ghost, haunting me through that open window.

And then I heard...

*sniff, sniff*

It was the unmistakable sniff of someone crying.

She was crying.

I thought before that she looked pale, that her movements looked weak, that her voice was cold, that she had an air of sadness. But nothing could've prepared me for what I heard and saw through that open window. She was crying. I didn't know why she was crying. Maybe she really did just break up with her boyfriend. Maybe not. Maybe she just got a text message informing her of the death of a loved one. I hope not. I didn't know what was causing her such pain. But it didn't matter. I didn't need to know to feel sympathetic towards her situation.

Her paleness, her aura of sadness, and her sniffs and gasps cried with faint hints of that cold voice - they drove me to internal tears as well. It broke my heart. I couldn't bare to see her crying. I stared at her for God knows how long. There were times when she would look around for something (or someone). In one of those times, our eyes met for a second or two. I didn't care how weird I looked if she noticed me. My feelings were there, crying with her.

I don't know. Maybe it's just my oxytocin and serotonin biochemical reactions, causing me to feel attached. Maybe it's the effect of some sub-conscious, more malicious, thought of finding an attractive girl at her moment of weakness - easy prey. Maybe "love-at-first-sight" does exist, and that this is a case of it. I don't know. I really don't know.

All I know is that I had feelings for her whose name I didn't know. And I would have to be contented with referring to her as "that girl I saw".

The "Palmera" Service arrived. I watched her board it. Our services went on their respective merry little ways.

I wish I could let her know...

She wasn't crying alone.



UPDATE (16 March 2007):

I also uploaded this uncropped version of the picture to show how much she looked like a ghost from where I was sitting.